I am sheltered. I admit it.
I have heard the term “quiverfull”, mostly relating to my own perusing of scripture.
I am very well aware that large families are not for everyone.
I am glad we trusted our instincts on wanting more children than most of our family and peers preferred.
and admittedly, at times I twinge with wishing we would of have had more children, I certainly trust ‘that nudge’ that Lord gave us every 3 years. 6 biological children is what we were meant to have. It for us, it is a beautiful gift.
Although others think we are a bit crazy; good, bad, or otherwise…
I had no idea how much anger and hatred the “big family” concept attracted. After all, I do not think it is crazy when a beloved cousin chose to have only 1 child. or that a good friend was adamant to have the perfect 1 boy, 1 girl, and a dog family.
*note: I do realize there are exceptional cases of drama and abuse;
as that risk could be found in any family setting…
regardless of race, schooling, income, or spiritual beliefs.
I am not here to dismiss or undermine others pain, confusion, or anger,
but rather to explain our views that seem to correlate similarly to the “quiverfull movement”.
What is Quiverfull, and does it really relate to us?
I find it fascinating that we don’t follow a particular ideology on this, but have naturally come to some similar conclusions. Such as:
We have not used birth control in our marriage. Are we crazy? We decided it was not healthy for my body. I know when I ovulate, we know when to be careful, and honestly a surprise would not be a bad thing. Interesting enough, our one and only “surprise” was after I was having trouble hemorrhaging and the doctors had wanted to perform a hysterectomy on me. I declined the offer, and they put me on birth control for 6 months to regulate the bleeding in the hopes that I would change my mind. Well, 6 months came and “surprise”! #5 came about 1 year earlier than we would have “planned”. and we are oh.so.blessed to have Andrew! We then again planned #6; and I have not had a hysterectomy, nor have any female problems at this time.
To trust the man to lead his household. Now, I get this. I understand why especially women will cringe at this concept. Trust me, after having a drug addict dad, an alcoholic step-dad, and being raised around men who were jerks, I was taught to never trust a man. But God has different plans. Will real men please stand up! You know who you are. The one who works hard for his family. The one who is exhausted after a hard days work, and will still play with his kids. The one who lovingly declines his wife’s opportunity to work part time to help with the finances because… he sees how much she gives of her self here, in the home, and that is enough. The one who does the “man” work like change oil, clean gutters, unplug toilets AND will still give a helping hand to do dishes, clean toilets, and grocery shop! The one, who, when given the chance to step up and be a man (aka is trusted) chooses to do so! Oh wait! That’s MY man! and he is not perfect, just willing. Am I crazy?
Courtship instead of Dating~
We raise our boys to treat women respectfully. Part of that respect is to gain the parents permission to “see” their daughter. We are not in control of the relationship, but have expressed basic moral expectations. We recommend ‘not being alone’ for extended periods of time. We are open about s*x, and that the greatest love you can share is letting her know she is worth the wait (yes, for marriage). Are we crazy?
Children are to be protected and sheltered.
I do believe that is a basic fundamental right of a child.
We are to nurture the young child,
give them guidance through the middle years,
and be available to mentor the young adult (and beyond).
This does not mean you do not prepare them for the world (both beautiful and ugly) as that is simply naive thinking, but to equip them to be prepared at the age appropriate time. Is this crazy?
Biblical Manhood vs Womanhood~
Let’s face it! Men and Women ARE different. We are wired differently, we are gifted differently, and we compliment each other. That is the beautifully created design of it all by our loving Lord. Why people are offended by this I honestly have no clue (cept maybe pride). Mostly the rage is for us women to be *gasp* submissive. To care, to trust, to honor, to love is not a bad thing. In my reality, the more I trusted my husband the more loving he became. In our earlier years (when marriage wasn’t such a beautiful thing) I literally showered him with kindness. I was not perfect, but I loved on him as best I could. God told me to trust Him to trust him… and I am ever.so.grateful I did! So is that crazy?
Debt-free/independent of government programs~
Why is this a bad thing? I honestly am trying not to laugh at this one. This is something that is listed as a “quiverfull” concept. really? Shouldn’t it be an American concept? One about being a responsible part of society? This is NOT to say we don’t have are hardships. We certainly have. Family and friends have blessed in the worst of times, and we ourselves have felt led to bless others. Why does government HAVE to be needed?
The flipside of this is that people assume that it is impossible to have all.these.children and not need government assistance, as, afterall, we must live in financial hardship and deprivation otherwise. Well, finances are tight, but we are by no means “deprived”. I willingly gave up having a car when I first became a stay-at-home mama. I willingly am cautious about how I spend the hard-earned paycheck that my husband provides. I don’t need fancy things. Things don’t fulfill my purpose, and certainly doesn’t fill my heart. Hand me down furniture and medium sized TV’s are perfectly fine with us. It is far.more.valuable to me to be able to raise and educate my own children. In reality, the love of my children is priceless! Is that crazy?
Home church/Family Integrated Church~
aka children are not age-segregated, but a part of the church as a whole.
Although we do not go to this style of church, I certainly can see its beauty.
As it is, some of our kids “go” to class, and some stay with us in the sanctuary.
We actually have several families at our church who choose to have their children in the service with them. My kids have a choice, and some will choose to quietly sit alongside me (at 4 yrs of age). Is he crazy?
*gasp* Now that is just wrong in our day and age, eh? Isn’t this just really about respecting yourself? To value your beauty and your body? Every girl has boobs and butt cheeks, it is a natural part of who we are… but it doesn’t mean it need to be flaunted. Going the bathroom is natural too, but I don’t want to see it! …just sayin’… that we might be crazy!
I founded this above outline of what “Quiverfull” is based off an anti-quivering site.
Big families are not for everybody.
Homeschooling is not for everybody.
Not everyone is going to choose Christ as their Savior.
But that does not mean it is wrong… or that we are crazy.
It is simply what God has called us to do, and yes, we truly believe it is a blessing.
1 Tim. 1:5
But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.