Is homeschooling abusive?
Is teaching Christianity abusive?
Is choosing to have a large family abusive?
Is letting the Dad be dad abusive?
Has anyone read this article:
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry?
To laugh at how ridiculous this sounds (to me)
To cry that they are actually serious.
The overall gist is that if you homeschool(ed), are Christian, and have a large family,
you are ruining your children’s lives.
One of the crimes? to emphasizes a fathers’ absolute authority over their wives and children.
Like it is a bad thing? Like a father’s calling to serve and protect and provide for his family is appalling? That trusting him to guide his family by the way of God Holy Word is oh.so.wrong.?
I am grateful that my husband is willing to make the tough decisions in our home. I am humbled at his love for us while making those decisions.
Another issue? Strong-willed girls raised in big families. Like they are set up to fail? or are used simply as “babysitters”? or are
dumbed-down expected to simply be stay-at-home, homeschooling mama’s themselves. (and like THAT is a bad thing in and of itself of course!). Our one and only girl IS independent-minded. I think she is quite brilliant. and Yes, I am preparing and training her about motherhood and the graceful art of being a wife. By her own decision, she dreams of having lots of kids and homeschooling them… one day. YET this does NOT limit her from achieving other goals? She wants to be a hair stylist. She also wants to earn a degree in Early Childhood Education. This is simply from an 11 yr old girl. In her own words…”I don’t want a big career because when I decide to be a mom I want to stay home”. So is it wrong that she probably gained that desire from me because she sees the love I have for my family? How blessed I feel every.single.day that I am home with my kids and for my husband?
The article also mentions depression, self injury, anxiety attacks, and body-acceptance issues.
Well, this is a very real problem… for everybody! It is not about homeschooling. It is about being in the world. It is about comparing ourselves with others, and never feeling good enough. This happens regardless if you homeschool or public school. This happens whether you are Christian, atheist, or otherwise. This is a society-based problem… and it IS sad.
Truly, I am not trying to undermine these writers pain. I am sure it is very real. But pointing fingers is not the solutions. My husband and I (both public schooled) could blame both our sets of parents for our very difficult childhood! and because of some of their poor choices we could feel justified. Parents make mistakes, period. Not one of us is perfect. We do what we know how to do at the time that we know how to do it; in other words, we do the best that we can. My mom made mistakes, ones that specifically (but not intentionally) affected me, but I ultimately KNOW that she loves me! The beauty of being grown up is that we can CHOOSE what life we want to live. We don’t need to blame our parents for our own misery as adults, but rather step up and change for yourself what you desire.
Fred and I have been married for 20+ years– we desired not to have a broken home.
We have 6 children– who connect and bond in a way that we didn’t when we were a child with 1 sibling.
We chose to homeschool– we desire to raise and educate our own kids in ways that compliment each individual child’s needs.
We are Christian. Not sure about the whole “fundamentalist” title that they spew like a dirty word in the article.
Here is the best definition of what I think a fundamentalist Christian is:
From the Christian perspective, fundamentalist has traditionally referred to any follower of Christ who believes that the Bible is the inspired Word of God and who believes in its literal interpretation and fundamental teachings. The fundamental Christian believes in the experience of the “new birth” which occurs when faith is placed in Christ as Savior and Lord. To the world this may be viewed as radical, but is very basic to the Christian faith.
But the worlds radical view of it is:
that liberal society uses the term fundamentalist to identify any Christian whom they consider to be an extremist. Generally, they classify a Christian as a radical fundamentalist if they merely believe in the literal interpretation of the Bible, if they hold views against sexual permissiveness, homosexuality, abortion on demand, or any views which are politically incorrect.
I admit I am sad for these grown kids and for their pain.
These beautiful beings whom Christ loves so much!
This pain is not the norm for homeschoolers, Christians, or big families!!
For those of you who feel lost… GOD cares, YOU matter.