I am struggling and celebrating all at one time.
I celebrate that it has been 9 years this month that I have been free from Bulimia.
for those readers who didn’t follow me from my other blog, here is a recap of my story:
Overcoming Personal Struggles
I struggle with still not being healthy.
I do not binge, nor purge anymore,
but what I do is not eat healthy;
quick, easy carbs is my usual staple.
I celebrate keeping 15 lbs off of the 25 lbs I lost last May.
I struggle with feeling like I am worth the effort of it all.
I celebrate being a survivor of childhood abuse.
I struggle with the negative tapes that replay in my head.
So I take a look at myself,
where I am at,
why I wanna be healthy,
and how on earth I am going to feel worthy enough to tackle this…
because what haunts me is the word… FAILURE.
Now mind you, that as a young lady (age 12) I had a “father” figure write dumb on my forehead and take a picture. (if I knew how to scan it, I would show you, it really is sad). 34 yrs later and I feel like dumb has been replaced by failure. Of course I know that is a lie from the enemy, but it is easily heard.
So once again, I begin my fitness journey. I love working out, I enjoy eating healthy, and I adore spending time with my Lord (spiritual fitness, right?)…
I just have to convince myself I am worth the attention to do it.
Do you take the time to take care of yourself?
If so, how do you find time for it?