Hidden Treasure

Husbands.

Yep, that’s the treasure I’m talking about.  Do any of you “know” that perfect husband?  You know… the one who leads the family in ALL things Godly, caters to every emotional whim and desire you have, AND where success IS defined by his paycheck?   Just kidding, really that is a ridiculous standard, and I am half playing in jest…

Wives, what are your expectations from your husband?  Do they know what they are?  Are they reasonable?

Let me share my reality…

no birthday presents
nor Christmas presents (cept when dear daughter begs)
no flowers
no cards
we even share a birthday on the same day, yet will only do something if I plan it.
no dates (cept a random Chinese dinner about once a year, but that was a few years ago)
~are you depressed yet?~
no romance
no dance
no ‘you look great honey’
~and guess what?  I knew all this when I married him.

Holidays and emotional fluff don’t define how much he loves me.

reality of my everyday…

My husband does not really know how much I do around the home.  That with 10 people in our home I no longer keep up with the housework;
Mt Washmore is always heaping although I do laundry throughout the day, everyday.
The toilets don’t get cleaned daily anymore, although with more people they need it.
Dishes, meal making, and crumbs galore evade half my waking hours, although I manage to run the dishwasher only once a day.
My amazing (being sarcastic) multi-task ability to homeschool multiple children/ages is running on a weekly whim; although I had a whole year all neatly and cleverly planned out.

He also does not really know how much of me is added to the ‘call of the Lord’s will’ to have us invite the extra people in our home;
that care and nurturing is stretched beyond what I thought I was capable of.
that my discernment is on hyper-drive.
that my ‘mommy eyes’ of keeping tabs of all.things.that.matter is getting strained.
that on some days, when the 3 yr old has screaming fits all day, the 7 yr old gets sensory-triggered, the 10 yr old gets bored, the 14 yr old feels overwhelmed, the 18 yr old is q.u.i.e.t, and Grandma has a challenging day, the extra son is not keeping up with his schoolwork, AND I am exhausted, sleep deprived, and frankly, out of shape… that I will slump on the floor, forehead in my hands, and cry out to God that I.don’t.think.I.can.do.this (ok, so sometimes I actually “silent” scream this)… 

and God meets me where I am at.

and the husband is simply himself.  His hardworking self.  His get up early, work all day, rat-race drive home, swing Katie about and listen to her, play with the littles (always), check in with the boys, care for Grandma, communicates with parents of extra son (as needed), fix the fix-needed things, and juggle the home-business between it all.  He cares, he prays, he listens, he talks and shares wisdom, and he reads the Bible, and when he reads to me… for me… my heart melts…

and his love for me is real.

We had our 20 yr anniversary this past November… and nothing .  For some reason this bothered me.  Yes, I know you are screaming “duh” at the screen.  ;^)  I didn’t expect anything, didn’t want anything… yet something stirred deep within.    It wasn’t a void of no celebration, but a realization of victory.  That although nothing was celebrated on that day, our lives display so much about God’s grace.  We broke statistics.  We both came from challenging childhoods, substance abuse, and broken homes… and through God’s love & mercy, our marriage is an amazing gift from God.

My HIDDEN TREASURE challenge:

From now until Valentines day, I am going to list all the “gifts” I receive from my husband.  This is a no-expectation challenge, so random posts will pop up with random thoughts.  Sometimes us wives are so focused on our own stuff that we miss the beauty of being a blessing to our husbands, simply by appreciating who they are. 

Do you have the perfect husband?  I do…for me.

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5 thoughts on “Hidden Treasure

  1. Your reality is my reality. And truthfully, I think it is a good reality. Yeah, the world (and the church) may tell us differently….but after 26 years, lots of tears, lots of laughter, lots of extra people in our house….we are still plugging away. I don’t expect a lot, and thankfully, neither does he……

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