Sometimes life gets busy, and plans go by the way side…

we recently had a week like that,

but keeping the littles busy is a must to avoid chaos…

thus we had a magnetic time.

And can I say just how excited I am that our Andrew is well into doing his school days…finally.

It is such a fine line of encouragement vs pushing, especially with kids with on the autism spectrum with sensory triggers.

Andrew is 7.  I could look (and compare) how far behind he is academically (and stress, fret, and worry) or I can embrace who he is and celebrate the victories.

He is consistently 2 yrs behind (emotionally, academically, physically).  I loved when someone made the comment “will that matter when he is 25?” 

During the preschool years, he LOVED playing alone.  I knew he was wired differently, but really hadn’t caught on to the why.  This is a post I shared back then:  A day in the life of ANDREW.

In his kindergarten year, he began to participate more with the interactions of the family.  Instead of parallel play, he began to group play.  This is the year I began to realize that my lil guy IS paying attention, just differently.  This post shares how subtle the changes are:  abstract vs concrete

Now he is in 1st grade, and the maturity, alongside the willingness, has caught up to academic progress.

Current lessons in progress:

morning work

We are practicing cross-out marks (x’s) with markers, coloring pictures (lesson directed, such as what colors do you need for this tree), and using a pencil to write his name.  We also do some type of hands on activity such as playdough, tongs for sorting, clothespins for clipping, etc to help strengthen his hand muscles.  All of this stretches his physical capabilities as well as his attention span~
then we jump to reading lessons.  yay!  and he is catching on.  We are working on word families alongside an old McGuffey Primer.  I just take the main words of the lesson to utilize which word family we are working on.

at- cat, sat, fat, pat, bat, etc
e/ee- see, me, we, fee, tree, etc.
this week is an- can, fan, pan, ran, etc…

at the end of his reading lesson we do board work; chalk board or the dry erase board.  I say sounds, he writes the letter, to eventually spell a word  (m/a/n)     I suppose technically this would be dictation, of sorts.    I try to encourage his efforts by him ‘playing’ the teacher being up at the easel while I sit at the table.

afternoon work

Science (Christian Liberty Nature Reader)- I read, he narrates.
Math- not a strong outline yet.  A few worksheets here and there, practicing drawing the numbers while encouraging Bryson of number concepts, and playing card games such as Go Fish and War.   I am getting ready to use Math-U-See Primer with him.

Evening

Story time before bed.
We started with nursery rhymes last year
and have moved onto traditional stories such as Goldilocks and the 3 bears, 3 lil pigs, etc,
to Aesop fables (Hansel & Gretal, the Frog Prince, etc)
to American Tales (Br’er rabbit, John Henry, etc)
and are recently reading Hans Christian Andersen’s Fairy Tales.
These stories are getting longer as we go, and Andrew’s attention span is stretching.  He even reminds me of when story time is.

Little nuggets of lesson spread out through the day has been beneficial, and he is free to roam and be himself when I am doing lessons with the older kids.  Balance seems to be the key; work vs play ~ but all of it is a learning lifestyle.

I gotta love homeschooling ~ the beauty of reaching a child at their own level whether it is average, slower, or too quick to keep up; I have them all in my home, and each child makes me smile at the person God has made them to be AND has helped me to be a better person myself.

A bit of an unusual title post for Valentine’s Day, eh?    Hoping this photo will tie it all in together as a gesture of love amongst friends is a blessing.  *smile*

Challenges and blessings seem to come as one package for our family.

*family members~ be prepared, this is a candid post~ truth is what it is.
We finally have a diagnosis, of sorts, on Grandma M’s struggles.  With that comes research on how best to take care of her.  The circumstance hasn’t changed, but the title gives us direction.    So as I research, I come across the acknowledgment that I am a care giver.  But I don’t seem to fit into a common mold of that title.  As the ‘professionals’ share the need to step in and care for our loved ones, it mentions a few hours a week, to 14 hrs a week, to eventually a full time job of a 40 hr week.  Does that seem puzzling to confine care to hours?  And to label ‘care’ as a job.  Well, it does for me.  For one, it is a 24/7 type of lifestyle, and love shouldn’t be labeled as a job.  

As I continue to research our circumstance, I am discovering we are considered the ‘sandwiched’ generation.  To raise a child and care for a parent at the same time.  Yet, we have additional circumstances within that title.  Now, I do realize that someone, somewhere, has to be somewhat facing a similar journey (and feel free to share if you know who they are).

Here is my *new normal* since moving to our new house in our old hometown last June.

We have 10 people in our home.  Not so new for us in sheer numbers, but a mix about of different people is new.

*We live off of 1 income.
*We homeschool; a college student, a high school student, a 4th grader, 1st grader, & preschoolers.
*One of my homeschoolers is a special needs child.
*We also have a foster son, of sorts.  Although he goes to public school, and technically is an adult…he still needs guidance and mentoring.
*I tutor a 4th grade girl, whom I recently quit homeschooling due to the extra needs of Grandma M.

The Challenges:

Keeping up with everyone!  That one’s obvious, eh?  Juggling housework, lesson plans, encouragement, care, routines, meals, bills (Fred took that one over), shopping, errands, & extra-curricular activities is enough to make superwoman herself quit.  Lucky for me, God’s grace is sufficient.

Caregiver burn out.  That is another thing I came across while researching our circumstance.   Hmmm, I did have a meltdown a few weeks ago.  They (the experts) recommend getting respite care on a regular basis.  We have been fortunate enough to have Chanelle (Fred’s sister) come for a day and a half visit every month, but we don’t actually leave for a break.  She has recently moved further away, and is beginning a new life with a beau.  I am happy for her, but can’t help but feel a bit abandoned in her expectation of me with her mother’s care.  but I love her, and it is what it is.  So back to respite care, which is not an option.  Did I mention there is no income, nor medical insurance for all these medical appointments?  Which also means no respite care.  And to think all I want to be able to do is go visit my own mom once in awhile.  Do I sound like I am whining?  I probably am.  *sigh*

Lucky for me, there are other ways to avoid caregiver burnout.

1.  Keep love in the picture.  My mother-in-law may not always like me, but I care for her out of love.
2.  Pray.
3.  Eat healthy and stay fit.
4.  Take a break anyway I can~ which is by way of a Monday night ladies Bible study.
5.  Keep a sense of humor.
6.  Naps- 1 hour quiet time every afternoon (can I call it my sanity hour?)

Blessings:

Children who adapt well to the changing tides.
A husband who does not waver.
Older son who mentors middle son.
A daughter whose girlishness reminds me to stay gentle.
Youngest son whose rambunctiousness requires nurturing.
A special son who boldly states right from wrong out of a loving heart.
Son #2 who is taking his time figuring out life before jumping in.
Friends who listen.
Son #3 who steps up always, and without prompt.
An income in this economy.

A husband who does not recognize Valentines Day, but brings work home with him so he is near us.  His presence adds a peace to my heart.  I love that man!

Without challenges, the blessings would not be so significant…
so I choose to travel this narrow road….

Rejoice always,
pray continuously,
give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

Readjusting our days…still.

The first change of the month is not having my extra student, Savannah.  She has really done well this year; enough so to let her mom & family know if homeschooling is right for her.   She has flourished as I put reasonable expectation on her, academically as well as socially.  Being diagnosed w/ autism has lowered societies expectation of her.  Not me; Savannah is still a person.  In fact, with her 12th birthday around the corner, she is a young lady.   No flappy arms, no baby talk, no grunting to get her way.  Admittedly, I am aware of her triggers and can talk her through her anxiety.  I will still have her on Tuesdays for a science class, art & crafts, and hopefully poetry.  I intend to still mentor her, and work alongside her family with specific goals in mind.

As for my older kids, TJ (14) & Katie (10), we are settling back up to our original routine utilizing the Robinson Curriculum style in the morning with a Charlotte Mason flair in the afternoons.    Both of these children are independent learners which frees up my mornings to keep an eye on other tasks at hand.  Andrew, on the other hand, still needs guided instruction, and I am thrilled that he is finally grasping reading!  I have lacked consistency with this special student of mine, so that is my biggest focus for him right now.

HISTORY
Undaunted Courage (the Lewis & Clark expedition); it has been a slow start last month, very technical and detailed in the beginning, but we are finally headed for adventure (i hope).

GEOGRAPHY
States & Capitals; we have covered the east coast now headed down south.

GEOLOGY
All things Evergreen; trees, seeds, and the animals within distance.

LANGUAGE ARTS
All thing NOUN; common, abstract, proper, and pronouns.  We will be covering them all.

MATH
TJ- Probabilility and geometric equations.
Katie- reducing fractions, averaging, and working on the 12 times tables.

LITERATURE
TJ- To Kill a Mockingbird
Katie- Alice in Wonderland, The 39 Clues.

WRITING
Our focus is on Narrative writing

FOREIGN LANGUAGE
Spanish-  verb conjugations; I have, I want, I need…
French-  wrapping up our review, and haven’t peeked ahead to see whats next yet.

READ ALOUD
Little Town on the Prairie

BIBLE
The Fruit of the Spirit
and still finishing up the Screwtape Letters.

CURRENT EVENTS
A new subject of sorts.  My husband is always talking government and politics in our home.  It is becoming more interesting as our ‘extra’ son, who goes to public school, is taking a civics class.  *grin*  Our conservative views are not what the public school agenda desires us to share with this young man, but we all get entertained with digging up facts as we go.  Did you know that the media news is biased?  =)

#1
Last week was a rough week, I admit it.  I was drowning in housework, emotions, caring, expectations, etc… and a wonderful friend came over with her two girls and swished, swiped, sprayed, scrubbed every nook and cranny of my downstairs!!  and it helped.  It helped clear my head, lowered my anxiety, and I felt like I was given a breath of fresh air… all because a friend took an hour out of her own busy day to come alongside me in my journey.

#2
A neighbor has taken a liking to me, and came over today to show me how to make homemade meatballs.  Just for those who don’t know, I lack cooking skills, and frankly, am not fond of cooking.  But… I love easy can’t go wrong recipes!  *smile*

#3
My wild child is finally beginning to smile again vs the screaming mess of transition that he was struggling with for the past 6 months!  He has even takin’ a new fondness for his sister, following her everywhere… cuddling, playing, & listening to her read.  Siblings bonding has to be one of the best gifts a mom can receive.

#4
We were gifted a chest freezer recently AND it was half full of meat!  Which I was really grateful for this past week when the month seemed to outlast the money.  It gets better, for me, lol, as this same family randomly gave me a case of Diet Coke (yes, I know it’s not good for me, it is my weakness) that they just happened to have extra of, and I did the happy dance because I escaped the inevitable headache I was ready to endure for the week.  =)

#5
Hidden Treasure~ having a husband who simply wants to see me smile.  Loves me beyond my flaws, both emotionally and physically.  A husband who listens, embraces my weak moments, and stands strong…seeking God all the more faithfully.  There is no better way to show me unconditional love.  and I am oh.so.grateful!

So what blessings have you received lately?  Better yet, what blessings are we being to others?  Sometimes a simple smile to a stranger is a gift, don’t ya think?

Now realize that dear husband rarely reads anything I write about here, unless prompted to, and I have no intention of prompting him to read that specific post, lol.

So imagine my surprise when he came home with these lovely flowers AND a card!
Really?  where does this come from?
not in trouble.
not a birthday,
nor anniversary.
no holiday.

Admittedly, I have had a few rough weeks.  Although knowing God is in control, it gets overwhelming at times when dealing with medical issues that have no resolve.  Knowing that you are doing all you can do, and it is not good enough.  To have the kids very aware of the challenges at hand, of someone we love, yet emotional needs get conflicted with physical demands of the every.day.ness.  Thus I had little sleep, felt a bit under the weather, and LOST it.  I can’t juggle everyones emotions and my own when running low on hope.  I was convinced that if I couldn’t keep it together, then the family would fall apart… and guess what?  The man stood firm, leaning on the rock of Christ, completely at peace with our circumstance, knowing full well that this is all in God’s plan for us.

uh, yeah, that’s not why I got flowers.

Later in the week I discovered that my own mom, who already has her own medical issues, had been having heart problems… and I had been too  busy wallowing in my own circumstances to even know this information.  and it was scary.  and I was sad.  and I got flowers.  random, huh?

We added a water fountain to our nature area.  Who knew the kids would be so fascinated!  ok, so yes, we lost the original ball that goes on top so that is a ping pong ball.  Know what?  Everyone had to lift the ball out of curiosity, causing water to spray everywhere.  Even the big kids.

Andrew continues to practice his writing.  Interestingly, he has begun switching hands as he goes through the alphabet.  He has always been a righty, so I think his hand is just getting tired.  I will keep an eye on it though, as TJ and myself are both ambidextrous.

I decided we probably need to continue to strengthen Andrew’s grip, so I am bringing out more Montessori style activities while using our sensory bins.

I absolutely love this age.  Motivated enough to keep herself busy AND clean up afterwards!
Last week she made animal masks for the littles.

Did I mention Katie is reading Helen Keller?  yeah, well, she assigned herself an experiment to “be blind” for 90 minutes.  Blind folded, and no silly-ness allowed.   She got herself a drink, unloaded a dryer and took it upstairs to fold, along with a few other activities.  Then she used our colorful magnets (*pictured) to list the braille alphabet.

We began Classical Conversation as a supplement to our RC reading.    I splurged on the “old” sets, getting all 3 cycles at once.  We began with cycle 3 because it related to what we were already learning about AND it only takes a few minutes a day!

We are getting back to the basics of RC with the Reading, wRiting, & aRithmetic.  Our afternoons are still for Fine Arts & French/Spanish.    The French curriculum I got is a big hit.  I will watch for a sale, and hopefully by summer I will also get the Spanish program.  We chose Tell Me More, for those who are wondering. (*please note that I am adding links in this post, but I absolutely receive no profit;  just sharing what is working for us).

Our days are getting adjusted once again, thus the reason to get back to basics.  Others in our home are needing more attention and care, so I have had to reduce my tutoring time w/ Savannah down to 3 days a week.  She has really improved over the past semester;  I have been so proud of her!  but Grandma needs more care, and Andrew needs more individual focus on his learning, and I need to keep up with running this home smoothly.  So Savannah visits her Nana 2 days a week to do her assigned schoolwork.  We are 3 weeks into the new schedule, and it seems to be working out all right.

It always seems that mid school year always needs a bit of tweaking, but I am feeling comfortable with the changes that have been made.

How is your new year coming along?

It finally snowed.  Winter seems complete.

We were teased with a dusting earlier in the day, then as night fell, the cotton-like flakes began to fall.  Within hours the ground was lightly covered, and as I stood at our back door glancing at the beauty, my dear husband came alongside me.  He mentioned how snow was like a cleansing of the earth.  How refreshing and pure the covering was.  It covers over the dirty of all things.  Much like Christ came, pure and sacrificial, cleansing us of our sins.   At least that  was the gist of it; what he really said was much longer, and poetic-like, and I stood numb, absorbed in the reality of how.much.my.husband.has.grown in wisdom.

Late that night, more like early morning, when the house was finally quiet and we crawled into bed, we peered out the window that is level at the head of our bed.  Snow still softly falling… streets now covered… silence.  and he opened the window for me.  simple really.  but I knew it was a gift to me, the one who knows me so well.  I breathed in the fresh air as an instant peace settled into my soul, laid my head to rest, and fell asleep.  What you do not know is I love fresh air.  I adore windows open, but in the winter I settle for a small fan by my head.  Husband is not always fond of the air blowing about, particularly on him, but he has always compromised well.  This small gift was a love gesture.  *smile*

Today was a winter wonderland.  We ended up with about 8″ of snow.  Everyone was up by 8 a.m., eager to go outside.  Another gift in the making; Fred took the littles out for awhile, then the bigger kids went out, then they all gathered to head down to the nearest school to build the “big” ball (a snowball usually the size of a small car, lol).  I don’t often join them.  Yeah, I know, it sounds like I’m a bore, but I like staying inside, keeping things warm (food, hot cocoa, blankets) and greeting them when they come in.  I *love* that my husband has always been the one to play in the snow with them outside; joyful, radiant, & fun spirited!  Tradition of sorts, I suppose.  So how do you enjoy your snow days?

Like our golf ball sized attempt at a snowman today?  FINALLY had some snowflake flurries today…

funny too, cuz we had our own Snowflake fun last friday!

Our crystal snowflake

Our Q-tip snowflake

Our one-of-many paper snowflakes.

Our snowman snack

Our Winter Wonderland chalk drawings shared amongst friends.

I *heart* winter.  I purposely chose Snowflakes as our theme for last week’s Fun Friday.  After the twinkle, shine, & glimmer of the Christmas season, it becomes downright depressing in January.  So I love decorating the house in snowman/snowflake theme to cheer things up!

What do you do in the winter months to make yourself smile?

We like sissy’s new easel.  *smile*
Everyone uses it; chalk, dry erase board, painting… it’s all things FUN!

For Preschool:

New year means new beginnings around here.  We went through the alphabet, learning to recognize the letters by shape.  This was our goal for the 3 yr olds.  We now begin again, going through the alphabet, learning to recognize the letters by sound.  Both Bryson & his lil friend Dustin will turn 4 in May, so this will be their 4 yr old goal.  New lessons, new activities, new fun times ahead!

Our Andrew:  Our sweet student.  For my newest readers, his challenges are Asperger’s Syndrome.  At this point we have no interest in getting him “officially” diagnosed, but after much research he fits into the classic struggles that aspies face.   With that in mind, he seems to pace himself about 2 yrs behind average milestones.

A new year means new beginnings around here.  *wink*
Andrew just turned 7 last month and well into his first grade year, while doing preschool work.  Randomly, as is fitting for him, his brain has finally clicked with blending his sounds and his willingness to “do” work.  Thus, we are officially beginning 1st grade THIS week.

1st grade goals for January:

PHONICS:
comprehend beginning and ending.
Words~ beginning and ending sounds.
Sentences~ beginning and ending words.
Sequencing~  beginning and ending directions.  (this is needed for Andrew, 3 instructions to follow step by step, a skill he has not quite adapted yet, although his 3 yr old brother can.)

WRITING:
that easel has been fabulous!  The pressure needed to write w/ chalk has helped strengthen Andrew’s hand, and his confidence to try harder is building.  I call that a win/win.  =)

MATH:
dice games, ADD it!, and counting to 100 (patterns of 10) are the most common activities.

READING:
Nursery Rhymes, Bible stories, and a Science book about bees.

Consistency is our biggest GOAL!

Husbands.

Yep, that’s the treasure I’m talking about.  Do any of you “know” that perfect husband?  You know… the one who leads the family in ALL things Godly, caters to every emotional whim and desire you have, AND where success IS defined by his paycheck?   Just kidding, really that is a ridiculous standard, and I am half playing in jest…

Wives, what are your expectations from your husband?  Do they know what they are?  Are they reasonable?

Let me share my reality…

no birthday presents
nor Christmas presents (cept when dear daughter begs)
no flowers
no cards
we even share a birthday on the same day, yet will only do something if I plan it.
no dates (cept a random Chinese dinner about once a year, but that was a few years ago)
~are you depressed yet?~
no romance
no dance
no ‘you look great honey’
~and guess what?  I knew all this when I married him.

Holidays and emotional fluff don’t define how much he loves me.

reality of my everyday…

My husband does not really know how much I do around the home.  That with 10 people in our home I no longer keep up with the housework;
Mt Washmore is always heaping although I do laundry throughout the day, everyday.
The toilets don’t get cleaned daily anymore, although with more people they need it.
Dishes, meal making, and crumbs galore evade half my waking hours, although I manage to run the dishwasher only once a day.
My amazing (being sarcastic) multi-task ability to homeschool multiple children/ages is running on a weekly whim; although I had a whole year all neatly and cleverly planned out.

He also does not really know how much of me is added to the ‘call of the Lord’s will’ to have us invite the extra people in our home;
that care and nurturing is stretched beyond what I thought I was capable of.
that my discernment is on hyper-drive.
that my ‘mommy eyes’ of keeping tabs of all.things.that.matter is getting strained.
that on some days, when the 3 yr old has screaming fits all day, the 7 yr old gets sensory-triggered, the 10 yr old gets bored, the 14 yr old feels overwhelmed, the 18 yr old is q.u.i.e.t, and Grandma has a challenging day, the extra son is not keeping up with his schoolwork, AND I am exhausted, sleep deprived, and frankly, out of shape… that I will slump on the floor, forehead in my hands, and cry out to God that I.don’t.think.I.can.do.this (ok, so sometimes I actually “silent” scream this)… 

and God meets me where I am at.

and the husband is simply himself.  His hardworking self.  His get up early, work all day, rat-race drive home, swing Katie about and listen to her, play with the littles (always), check in with the boys, care for Grandma, communicates with parents of extra son (as needed), fix the fix-needed things, and juggle the home-business between it all.  He cares, he prays, he listens, he talks and shares wisdom, and he reads the Bible, and when he reads to me… for me… my heart melts…

and his love for me is real.

We had our 20 yr anniversary this past November… and nothing .  For some reason this bothered me.  Yes, I know you are screaming “duh” at the screen.  ;^)  I didn’t expect anything, didn’t want anything… yet something stirred deep within.    It wasn’t a void of no celebration, but a realization of victory.  That although nothing was celebrated on that day, our lives display so much about God’s grace.  We broke statistics.  We both came from challenging childhoods, substance abuse, and broken homes… and through God’s love & mercy, our marriage is an amazing gift from God.

My HIDDEN TREASURE challenge:

From now until Valentines day, I am going to list all the “gifts” I receive from my husband.  This is a no-expectation challenge, so random posts will pop up with random thoughts.  Sometimes us wives are so focused on our own stuff that we miss the beauty of being a blessing to our husbands, simply by appreciating who they are. 

Do you have the perfect husband?  I do…for me.